I Am A Mental Maze

It is clear that my mind is abnormal. One minute I am focusing on something and the next thing I know my mind is wandering on a subject unrelated to what I was originally focused on. My body may be there but my mind has escaped to somewhere else. Why can't I stay focused? Why do I allow the little things to distract me? My central nervous system is constantly on edge. My overthinking is causing chaos within my brain. But then I feel as though I could not function without the chaos. My writing is always filled with a variety of emotions all happening at once. I write what is on my mind not expecting it to be understood by readers. All it takes is one situation to change my mood from positive to negative. I have a very caring heart so things that confuse or get to me are amplified in my mind. Not only am I battling my surroundings but myself as well. You may see just a tree, but I see a tall mass comprised of complex natural elements. While you only want to enjoy the moment, I plan for a future that is not even promised. Simply a complicated individual. As I grow spiritually, I still find myself relapsing and going back to my old ways. But I am human and this blog is a way for me to be open about my flaws and thoughts while trying to become more obedient and closer to God. This is going to be a long journey so enjoy the ride. I am a mental maze alright and habits are much harder to break than to develop them. The goal is to renew my mind and what matters is not when I get there but the fact that I got there.