How Do I Love You

When we first got together, many used to make a big deal that I was 18 and you going on 22, but look how far we have gotten together. Breaking up is not in our vocabulary useless God gives us a clear sign that it is time for us to part ways.

How is it that I have changed you to be this amazing person yet still feel like I have cheated you. I sometimes feel like you give more to me emotionally than I have to you. You have changed more for me than I have for you. That is not fair to you my love. How do I love you the way you love me? Your charm and goofiness is something I can't reciprocate. Yes grant it you can get on my nerves at times but I know I can be difficult as well. I want to be able to love you as if no one was watching. Not physically but spiritually and emotionally. Caring less what others think because we did not put almost four years of our time to allow others to come between you and I. I feel no matter how much I try it will never amount to how much you deserve. If God has me here to one day be your wife I would be truly honored because any man willing to change as much as you have deserves to be with someone he can spend the rest of his life with.

I feel as if you are taking the lead in this relationship and I am trying to catch up. I guess you are alright. As I have told you before this is something I never expected God to give me at my age. I honestly used to think that the difficult times with you was the hardest part of the relationship but for me it is trying to understand the best way I can love you and be the woman you need me to be. All I have to say is things just got real. :)... I know this message is going all over the place but that's how it is when you cannot really explain your feelings for someone. I do feel like I need to be here with you because there are plenty of times where I just want to walk away and know very well I can't leave. Reading with you recently is a new milestone in our relationship. I don't think you understand that it took me almost a year to get you to read with me on a regular basis. Not cool bro. However I truly appreciate the effort you have put into this new journey with me.

How do I love someone who puts me first and has become my number one supporter? Letting go of my pride and giving you my all is what I need to do. Appreciating all the the little things you do to show me that you care and want to be here with me. It seems like only yesterday you were that same selfish and arrogant person who I use to argue with regularly now I am sitting here asking myself...How do I love someone who seems to good to be true? I know I am not perfect but I will not stop until I have perfected this goal of mine. God I thank you for sending me this imperfect angel because without him I would not be the woman I am today.

I remember you asked me why do I love you and it was hard for me to respond. Not because I didn't have an answer but because I wished my actions were more clear and understandable. I am not good at my words so I allow my actions to do the talking for me. Maybe my actions are clear and you just want to be able to hear me verbally express myself. Be patient my love I have been working on this for a long time and one day I promise to open up and tell you all the ways in which I do love you.

Love,
Baby Shay