Talking to You

When I hear Jason pray to you Lord I get jealous. Not in a bad way but just because I wish I could pray to You as openly as he can. I wish I had a strong connection with You like him. It's funny because Jason is bad at communicating in all other aspects, but with You it seems to come so easy for him. To me that is amazing and I hope one day I could talk to You with as much confidence and openness. I am scared, scared of becoming vulnerable and weak. When I communicate with others I am assertive and passionate in what I say and it is embarrassing to myself and You that I cannot be the same way when I pray to You. I feel ashamed to say this about you Lord and I am truly sorry. I will try harder and because I know I will make mistakes in the future I ask for your forgiveness. I want to get closer to You and follow your word. I am reading more and I actually got Jason to read with me. He still feels uncomfortable to read out loud together but at least he has finally made an effort to read with me and then discuss our thoughts afterwards. This process took over a year so finally being able to read together and become closer spiritually is a great feeling and gives me hope for our future. I just really hope this is where I am meant to be because I honestly feel like I fit nowhere else.Proverbs in the book we are currently reading together and I pray you continue to give us understanding and knowledge on what it is you want from me. I feel this is a great start and I look forward to getting closer to you Lord and talking to You regularly.